What My Frat-Guy Years Taught Me About Building Community

Most of you don’t know the Ryan Paugh that people knew in college. Most of you know Ryan Paugh “the BC community manager.” But back in college I was Ryan Paugh “the frat guy.”

And at first, saying that leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Frat guys get a bad rap, because a lot of us flat-out suck. But many of us are actually pretty good guys … promise.

But here’s the deal. I learned a lot from my years as a greek. Sure, I partied hard, got up late and skipped a bunch of classes. But I spent a lot of that time building community right outside my door, in my frat.

Here are few things I took away from the fuzzy, fun-filled days and nights I spent with my fraternity in college.

You can get a lot by doing a little.

The worst part about joining a fraternity is the pledge process. But after it’s all over, the rewards you’ll reap over the next four years (and beyond) are immeasurable.

I try to think about blogging the same way. During the first few months of your blog, you’re pretty much at the bottom of the food chain. Hardly anyone wants to talk to you and you’re putting a lot of time into something when time is pretty scarce.

Some days you want to quit—and lots of people do—but for those who stay, you get to enjoy a community experience that other people miss out on.

Just like pledging, once you’re initiated, the blogosphere becomes your playground. It’s effortless to make connections. And if that’s all you’re looking for, you’re in great shape.

But going above and beyond is better.

A lot of people pledge frats, “pay their dues” and coast their way through college with all the perks of fraternity life. But others take a leadership role. They strive to make a difference within their community. These people gain the most out of fraternity life.

Being a part of the blogosphere is very similar. The more you put in, the more you get out.

The Brazen Careerist community has leaders in every niche. They’re not just blogging; they’re making their niche better or even the entire sphere better.

A telltale sign of a community leader is someone who takes it beyond the blog. They connect via email, on the phone or in person. They’re finding ways for bloggers to work together and they’re actually creating a movement for change in some cases.

I like to think about it in terms of the people in the frat who would stay in their rooms during a party versus the ones who left that sanctity to be more social. Sure, you can lure people back to your room to party, but you’re a lot more likely to experience something fun if you throw yourself amongst the masses and let loose.

Mixing it up is a good thing.

My favorite thing about frat life was our diversity. We weren’t the homogeneous crew of greeks you see in movies. We had lots of differences. And it’s what made our house so distinctive.

And what would any good community be without a little diversity? What I love most about being Brazen is all the perspectives and passions we share. We are all quite different, but at the same time, united by the common desire to build relationships with fascinating people.

And sure, you may think frat guys are far from fascinating. But the good frats aim to be. Mine was. We had the meatheads, but we also had philosophers and some-day corporate execs. We were far from dull, and that’s what most communities should strive to be.

There are tons of different people with different agendas in the blogosphere. Some are writing, some are commenting and some are just reading with little-to-no visibility at all. But they’re all fulfilling a role that’s important to any community’s existence.

Inter-fraternal relations are vital.

It only takes a moment for a good party to go bad. One second you’re drinking a beer, the next, you’re getting jostled around in the midst of a frat-on-frat brawl. Lame.

Community leaders try so hard to build relationships with similar organizations. Then, out of nowhere, beer muscles get the best of someone and all goes sour.

It’s understandable. Everyone wants to be at the best. And in a way, you are, of course, competitors. But like anyone who understands community knows, it’s better to have an alliance with the competition than a vendetta against one another.

When building online community, establish good relations with your competition and try not to talk trash too much. The party is a lot more fun when you don’t have to worry about bad blood over spilt beer

Because in the end, it’s all about throwing a great party.

That’s the biggest similarity between my frat-guy years and my new adventure building an online community. Every day Brazen is working to bring the most thought-provoking mix of readers and writers together.

Our goal: To be the most stellar group of thought-provoking young professionals online. The community everyone wants to party with—the big name on campus.

And maybe that sounds too greek for you … and if that’s the case, don’t get turned off. I’m far beyond those years (for the most part). I’m just happy to (right now) have my dream job. A job that bonds my party-boy years with the (quasi)-professional I’ve become today. And I’m loving it.