Comments on: I’ve never had a mentor, and that’s okay http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/ My name is Ryan Paugh and I build online communities. My business is helping brands get connected with people. My philosophy is simple: Listen to what people want and you will find success. Sun, 18 Sep 2011 06:40:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Ryan Paugh http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-615 Ryan Paugh Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:02:40 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-615 I feel like there's nothing wrong with wanting to be noticed. I would actually think about this a little bit and try to find out why you're not getting enough recognition. It's possible that you're not communicating your successes well enough. I've fell into this trap before and I think the answer is letting people know what you're doing well. Just don't be braggy ... It's a fine line, but you can do it. I feel like there's nothing wrong with wanting to be noticed. I would actually think about this a little bit and try to find out why you're not getting enough recognition. It's possible that you're not communicating your successes well enough. I've fell into this trap before and I think the answer is letting people know what you're doing well. Just don't be braggy … It's a fine line, but you can do it.

]]> By: Ryan Paugh http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-614 Ryan Paugh Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:00:10 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-614 Penelope and I rarely agree on things except that we both hate our office and wish that we could work from home more. The difference is that she actually does it and I just site here and bitch about it. See! There's something I should be learning from someone I rarely agree with :) Penelope and I rarely agree on things except that we both hate our office and wish that we could work from home more. The difference is that she actually does it and I just site here and bitch about it. See! There's something I should be learning from someone I rarely agree with :)

]]> By: Ryan Paugh http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-613 Ryan Paugh Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:57:56 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-613 Great idea. Maybe we call them "co-mentorships" or something like that ... I feel like you guys and some of my friends over on Brazen are my co-mentors. You guys challenge my ideas and let me know that I'm headed in the right direction. That's one of the great things about blogging is learning from each other. Great idea. Maybe we call them "co-mentorships" or something like that … I feel like you guys and some of my friends over on Brazen are my co-mentors. You guys challenge my ideas and let me know that I'm headed in the right direction. That's one of the great things about blogging is learning from each other.

]]> By: Ryan Paugh http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-612 Ryan Paugh Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:55:58 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-612 Like I mentioned in my blog post the most influential people in my life have been the people who are least like me. So maybe look for people with different work styles and go from there. Penelope and Ryan Healy and have very different work styles that I do and it's challenging every single day. I learn a lot from it. Like I mentioned in my blog post the most influential people in my life have been the people who are least like me. So maybe look for people with different work styles and go from there. Penelope and Ryan Healy and have very different work styles that I do and it's challenging every single day. I learn a lot from it.

]]> By: Ryan Paugh http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-611 Ryan Paugh Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:52:42 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-611 Asking people questions is a great way to find a mentor if you need one. I always tell people on Brazen that the best way to get connected with new people is to ask good questions. I think that rule applies in any networking situation. Asking people questions is a great way to find a mentor if you need one. I always tell people on Brazen that the best way to get connected with new people is to ask good questions. I think that rule applies in any networking situation.

]]> By: Ryan Paugh http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-610 Ryan Paugh Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:51:31 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-610 I don't loathe that at all. Penelope has been a big influence in me as a writer. It's funny that people think that I hate her. I just hate working with her sometimes :) I don't loathe that at all. Penelope has been a big influence in me as a writer. It's funny that people think that I hate her. I just hate working with her sometimes :)

]]> By: TCMSM http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-592 TCMSM Sun, 28 Mar 2010 20:55:31 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-592 Ty, mentoring is seen in both ways: brown nosing and someone who sees talent and helps you be better. The problem is, in my eyes, there are too many people seeking mentors. There is not enough mentors to go around, or they don't want to be bothered with it. I never had a mentor. Many leaders in the community I live in wouldn't spend 5 seconds introducing themselves to me or take the time to know who I am. Many of my peers buy their books, go to all of their events, and inundate them with requests to be their mentors. It used to bother me that I don't get noticed for the things I've accomplished so far in my professional life. I have come to accept the fact that "you" have to be your own mentor. You have to learn from your own mistakes, know your strengths and weaknesses, and stop expecting someone to take you under their wings, as well as expecting them to accept your offer to be your mentor. Ty, mentoring is seen in both ways: brown nosing and someone who sees talent and helps you be better. The problem is, in my eyes, there are too many people seeking mentors. There is not enough mentors to go around, or they don't want to be bothered with it.

I never had a mentor. Many leaders in the community I live in wouldn't spend 5 seconds introducing themselves to me or take the time to know who I am. Many of my peers buy their books, go to all of their events, and inundate them with requests to be their mentors.

It used to bother me that I don't get noticed for the things I've accomplished so far in my professional life. I have come to accept the fact that "you" have to be your own mentor. You have to learn from your own mistakes, know your strengths and weaknesses, and stop expecting someone to take you under their wings, as well as expecting them to accept your offer to be your mentor.

]]> By: Jonha Revesencio http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-588 Jonha Revesencio Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:37:42 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-588 I am totally hooked to Penelope's blog and though there are times that I do not agree with her, I realize that her thoughts were intellectually stimulating, they make me realize that hey, this is what I think about this subject. I used to be apathetic about the things around me until I realize that in order for me to make a change, I need to identify the things I wanna be improved. First step to success is coming to the realization of what you really want. Everyone we meet can create impacts in our lives, it doesn't matter be it great or small, we get to learn from everyone. I am totally hooked to Penelope's blog and though there are times that I do not agree with her, I realize that her thoughts were intellectually stimulating, they make me realize that hey, this is what I think about this subject. I used to be apathetic about the things around me until I realize that in order for me to make a change, I need to identify the things I wanna be improved. First step to success is coming to the realization of what you really want. Everyone we meet can create impacts in our lives, it doesn't matter be it great or small, we get to learn from everyone.

]]> By: Jonha Revesencio http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-587 Jonha Revesencio Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:33:25 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-587 People that kiss your a$$ are not the very people that you can be comfortable to grow and learn with. These are the people that do not challenge nor help you become better. You become stuck at them always singing praises and it's good to see people that disagree with you in a good way. One of the many things that I like about Penelope (and now with Ryan) is that they're both non-traditional. These people do not just teach you to do good but to be really good by telling you what you lack. People that kiss your a$$ are not the very people that you can be comfortable to grow and learn with. These are the people that do not challenge nor help you become better. You become stuck at them always singing praises and it's good to see people that disagree with you in a good way. One of the many things that I like about Penelope (and now with Ryan) is that they're both non-traditional. These people do not just teach you to do good but to be really good by telling you what you lack.

]]> By: ClaireV http://ryanpaugh.com/mentors/comment-page-1/#comment-568 ClaireV Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:05:18 +0000 http://ryanpaugh.com/?p=492#comment-568 Ryan, I definitely feel you on this. I think my answer to this conundrum is to have partial mentors-- people who: 1)share some of my values/aspirations, or who understand what I want (even without wanting it themselves), 2/have more experience-- and therefore perspective--than I do, and 3/ (this is key) who like me enough to take the time to give me regular feedback and guidance. So my ex-CEO shares my drive and ambition, and his advice encourages me not to settle and to believe in myself. A high-up at my current job gets my need to travel and have my personal boundaries pushed-- he's encouraged me to take even more initiative, fill resource gaps and step in where I am needed- even if the learning curve is huge. Etc. I try to draw from each the best lessons they can teach me, and find other mentors for the parts they can't help me with. Ryan, I definitely feel you on this. I think my answer to this conundrum is to have partial mentors– people who:
1)share some of my values/aspirations, or who understand what I want (even without wanting it themselves),
2/have more experience– and therefore perspective–than I do, and
3/ (this is key) who like me enough to take the time to give me regular feedback and guidance.

So my ex-CEO shares my drive and ambition, and his advice encourages me not to settle and to believe in myself. A high-up at my current job gets my need to travel and have my personal boundaries pushed– he's encouraged me to take even more initiative, fill resource gaps and step in where I am needed- even if the learning curve is huge. Etc.
I try to draw from each the best lessons they can teach me, and find other mentors for the parts they can't help me with.

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