Comments on: A lesson in being stuck, and getting unstuck

By: Ryan Paugh

Ryan Paugh — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 22:56:31 +0000

I feel your pain. Part of the reason why I had to get rid of Charlie was because I was working long hours while my girlfriend was at home. She has a full-time job too, but uses our apartment as her office. Charlie was too much of a distraction for her. Not to mention that he's close to 100lbs and difficult to manage on a leash.

I'm glad that you don't regret your pup. He'll bring you a lot of happiness if you have the time and energy that he needs.

Best of luck!

By: Harriet May

Harriet May — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 22:16:50 +0000

My boyfriend and I got a puppy very soon into our relationship. I was so worried about it, I grew up with dogs and know how much effort they really are and how tying they can be. Throw into the mix that my boyfriend works 60 hour weeks, so the pup would effectively be my responsibility: to train, to exercise, to keep out of trouble. I'm currently underemployed so having our puppy has given me some sense of greater purpose, I suppose, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. I'm glad we went ahead and got her, but I'm still scared that I'll get a "real job" (I keep looking!) which will put strain on us having a dog, especially a high energy breed (she's a mini Australian shepherd, definitely a runner and a disc dog!). I guess the conclusion I've come to so far is that you have to live for the moment and take chances. I don't regret rushing into bringing home a puppy, because I don't think there really is an experience quite like it. I think you're really strong for making that tough decision that was ultimately best for both you and Charlie, and I hope when you decide to get another puppy in the future it turns out perfectly.

By: Ryan Paugh

Ryan Paugh — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:13:28 +0000

Charlie was a wonderful support system for me too. He caused me a lot of stress, but also helped me relieve the stress in my life that was coming from other places (mostly my job). I enjoy my freedom now too, but am looking forward to a point in my life when I can adopt a new puppy. Now that the weather is so nice here in Madison, WI it's hard to fight the urge to get a new pup.

By: Ryan Paugh

Ryan Paugh — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:11:12 +0000

That's a great story! My girlfriend and I agree that when the timing is right to get a new dog we're going to adopt one. Gotta pay it forward!

By: Jan Hogle

Jan Hogle — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:17:24 +0000

Ryan, I stumbled onto your blog about giving up Charlie and it hit home. I'm on the other side of all the experiences you write about, in the sense that my 2 kids are 20-somethings and on their own, and our dog died about 3 years ago. I was not a dog person when we adopted him at age 1 from a shelter, nor did I have any idea what an American Eskimo dog was like. In the 10 yrs we had him before he died of cancer, he was a huge support to my kids and he became my third child. Never in my life had I experienced that kind of relationship with an animal. When he died, it was a devastating experience, like losing a child. But that decade with him — a decade in which I worked from home, monitored my kids through middle & high school, and helped my mother through her last few years — was greatly enhanced by the dog's constant presence at my heels. Now, though, I enjoy my freedom.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:38:39 +0000

I totally know where you are at. 2 years ago, I had to give up my 1-1/2 yo dog. Between my high-need 5 year old, and partner who didn't really want a dog, it wasn't good for anyone. I was devastated, about the dog and my failing relationship, and so was my son. I found a great home for our dog, and he and his new family couldn't be happier.

Now, 3 weeks ago, I adopted a mostly-black-lab mix year old dog from the shelter, with my live-in bf. She's a fantastic dog, and so far, we couldn't be happier. Also helps that we are on the same page with training etc., and she's not a little puppy. So, while I miss my old dog, it was the right decision, and the right dog and situation came into my life at the right time.

By: Ryan Paugh

Ryan Paugh — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:31:08 +0000

Thanks! I'm glad I found a good home, too. Down the line, I'll certainly adopt another puppy, but I am going to wait until things are more stable for me.

During the two years I spent with Charlie I learned a lot too. The most important thing I learned is to be honest with myself. Before I gave him up I knew that I wasn't giving him everything he needed. For so long I has been kidding myself thinking I was doing fine. I wasn't.

Thanks for reading.

By: Leslie Juvin

Leslie Juvin — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 13:53:12 +0000

Hrmm….tough love time, bro…. I've had my dogs Peaches (12) and Gwen (5) since I was a high school and college student with .98 cents in my bank account. Good times, bad times, I stuck with them and spent the money and energy reading dog training books, paying for their vet bills with book money, spending hours on walks when I rather be working or farting around, and traveling the world with them.

My dogs taught me discipline, caring for others, responsibility and they gave me maturity and a sense of planning (from choosing an apartment, car, neighborhood, work, etc). I have a hard time sympathizing with people who give up their pets simply because they're moving or they're inconvenienced. Dogs at two are young and can behave terribly; they're like teens testing their parents. Just imagine kids!

However, I am really glad you found a proper home for the pup and that's what really matters in this situation. Additionally, I believe you've learned a lot about yourself and what you desire in life and how you accomplish your goals affects others – even your pets. So, high five that things worked out for the better.

By: Ryan Paugh

Ryan Paugh — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:55:21 +0000

Having a dog definitely hurts socially. As much as I miss Charlie, right now I feel liberated. I don't have to go home right after work if I don't want to. I missed that.

It makes me think about what it's going to be like when I have kids, too.

By: Ryan Paugh

Ryan Paugh — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:29:36 +0000

J.T. O'Donnell (a great mentor of mine) once told me that she thinks having a dog is often harder than having a child. I don't know if I believe that, but I know it's definitely up there in difficulty.

I'm glad I was able to write this post. It helped me come to terms with the difficult decision I had to make.