I almost always cut the first paragraph out of each blog post. I do this because my first paragraph rarely accomplishes anything other than self absorption. Writer’s masturbation, if you will.
I’m telling you this because you might spend a lot of time beating around the bush, too. Sometimes we end up hurting ourselves when we indulge in such tomfoolery.
I spent two days in Tulum, Mexico convinced that I was going deaf. I went diving through a bunch of reefs and caves. I was convinced that all the pressure changes knocked something loose. It’s stupid, but these are the kinds of neurotic thoughts I’ll do back flips over on a daily basis.
It took me two days of blue funk to pony up and go to a Mexican doctor. I barely understood his broken English, but he squirted a syringe of what looked like club soda into my ear, then ten minutes later pulled out a ball of wax. He showed me the dime-sized wad before tossing it down the drain and writing me a bill for 1,299 pesos.
The money didn’t matter. The time I spent worrying about the outcome cost me two days of vacation, and that did matter. I could have been sipping tequila on the Riviera Maya—not a care in the world—but I spent two days comatose from my own angst instead.
I want to learn to be better at confronting things early. I want to axe out the stage of fear where I let hours decay while I think about ungodly outcomes. I think if we all learned to do that a little better, we’d be a lot happier with our lives.
Sure, it’s quite possible that you’re the ass-kicking lord of confrontation—by god you better be blogging and sharing some of that wealth—but I’m not. And if you’re anything like me, please raise your glasses, then go schedule some time to reflect on the things you’ve been brooding over for way too long.
Like maybe there’s tension at work and you’ve been avoiding butting heads because it’s unnerving. Confront that.
Or maybe you just haven’t been blogging because you’re afraid that what you say will suck. Confront that, too.
Whatever it is that’s holding you back from living life, unabridged, confront that shit and move on. Once you’re done, you’ll feel stupid for not doing it sooner, but relieved that you finally did.
11 Responses for "On thinking that I’m going deaf, and confrontation"
I couldn't agree more. When I think I might need to go to the Doctor I put it off in fear of …? Not sure. I will go around situations sometimes because I am afraid of what the outcome could be. The worst part is that most of the time we cannot change what the outcome is and after we confront it we are fine. Nice post and glad you are not deaf. A life without music would just suck.
Shane Mac
Helping Careers at thesquab.com
Hear, hear! (accidental pun)
You rock on, Ryan!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ryan Paugh, Gloria Hurtado. Gloria Hurtado said: RT @PaughGinney:post about how I thought I was going deaf in Mex http://bit.ly/6AG44M – Also about confronting fear n living a better life. [...]
There are a couple of things that I would recommend. I can't say that I like confrontation, but I do it often enough that my friends have commented on it (I've helped a couple of them become more assertive). I guess that's what I'd say – I'm fairly assertive. I have the anxiety gene (literally, this kind of mental crap runs in my family), but I also have the "fix-it" gene.
For anxiety, here is what I recommend. To beat it before it gets to you, find ways to laugh as often as possible. At work, surround yourself with people who make you happy. I play board games at lunch, sometimes in the afternoon, too…I just know that there are people I can relax with – and not necessarily by talking about problems – I just have to escape them sometimes. Keep a paper bag in your cube. Just in case you hyperventilate, it works. Know that if you are patient, the worst of the anxiety will pass. The better you get at dealing with that logically, let less it keeps its hold on you. Exercise. I came home totally pissed off and keyed up last night. I threw all of that into my exercise DVD and felt 200% better afterward.
On dealing with confrontation…I do it because I know that I'll feel so much better once things are resolved. It isn't fun, but it's kind of like going to the dentist or paying bills. It's all part of being that fabled responsible adult. And usually I do feel so much better after I deal with it, I think that I've trained myself to deal with it to get to the feeling better part.
Good luck with it. BTW, my sis had the same wax thing happen once. It was such a big chunk that she took it home with her in a little glass bottle and showed her friends. That would be a unique travel souvenir.
Thanks for making me laugh. The story is so ridiculous to me that all I can do is make fun of myself for it, and maybe find a lesson I should learn from it …
Thanks for reading.
I'm glad I'm not deaf too! I have so much respect for people who deal with that kind of disability. Losing one of your senses throws everything off. My short experience not being able to hear taught me that.
You and my girlfriend would either really love each other or really hate each other because she's the same kind of assertive person that you are. Having a person in my life who knows how to confront things has been good for me. I'm sure that your friends feel the same way.
Thanks for the tips on coping with anxiety. I laugh often, and you're right. It does help. I've never used a paper bag though. I thought that only worked on sitcoms. I'm going to give it a try.
You're right about confrontation. It's totally like paying bills, or cleaning out a closet, or going to the dentist (which I keep meaning to do, so thanks for reminding me).
My wax problem is all done with. From what I can understand, I was diving a lot and salt water does something crazy to ear wax. Makes it more like cement.
Hey, this post is pretty awesome.
Tulum is fantastic! I spent a week there in September. Ahhh… I'm sorry you missed two days of it. I missed one, but I won't go into it. (Avoiding confrontation here, but I will write about how am confrontational, as I usually am – great idea.)
Thanks for the great tips, Dawn. Anxiety is a daily battle for me and many of the things that you listed above have helped me cope. One of the best medicines that consistently works is learning to breathe better,
I visited a new shrink not too long ago who told me that I don't breathe right and it probably has a lot to do with my panic attacks. So I started doing Yoga and it really helps!
Tulum is awesome!!! Playa Del Carmen is great too if you're looking for a little more excitement. If you ever head back there let me know and I'll recommend some really fun places. I'm big on Mexico trips
Ryan: I am with you on this one. I used to love procrastination until I understood that it was making anxiety build up and fast!
As for confronting things, I heard somewhere that when you feel a small fear, then you know you are going in the right direction because scary is good.
CK
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