In a couple weeks, I’m presenting at the 2010 Career Summit.  My session is all about taking control of what you’re doing online, unlearning bad habits and being smarter with your time.  It’s something I’ve struggled with a lot as a Community Manager and I’m hoping that I can help people avoid some of the core mistakes that I’ve made.

Social media is great, but there are also a lot of things that social media is not good for.  Here are are few that I have learned over the years:

Blogs don’t generate money.

Plenty of talented individuals have made a small fortune from blogging, but most of us aren’t them.  Posts that talk about how easy it is to set up a blog (like this one) and make lots of passive income are stupid.  You should ignore them.  It’s not that easy.

Passive income is a joke.  Ramit Sethi compares passive-income seekers to people with bad taste.  They’re easy to pick out in a crowd.  I think this is particularly true for bloggers seeking passive income.  Their blogs remind me of used-car lots.

And WTF is passive income anyway?  Selling eBooks?  Advertising?  Webinars?  Most of the people who are doing this well (Chris Guillebeau is a great example) have made managing their online presence a big part of their life in order to make it work.

The better way to get value out of your blog is to focus on selling your offline skills because that’s where most of us have the best chance of making lots of money anyways.  I never made a dime off of my blog, but I did start a company with two other brilliant people because of blogging.

Twitter probably won’t get you a job.

I realized this was true after Jamie Varon didn’t get a job at Twitter and instead got the attention she needed to start her own company.  Twitter isn’t for job seekers.  Twitter is for entrepreneurs.

Twitter worked well for Jamie because she came up with a creative way to showcase her talent.  And Twitter is a great way to showcase your talent to a lot of strangers at once.  The problem is that most people who use Twitter aren’t being creative like that..

Unless you’re tweeting for recreational reasons, tweeting seems worthless without something else compelling to share with people.  Not to mention the fact that 71 percent of tweets are ignored anyway.  Nobody gives a damn about what you have to say in 140 characters or less unless they know that you’re interesting beyond your tweets.

You don’t need to spend a lot of time online.

We’ve been programmed to believe that more equals better, but this is wrong.  What I’m discovering is that the most talented people are being exclusive about who they network with.  There are only a handful of people out there who can significantly help you out anyway.  So this seems smart.

Being stingy about the amount of time that you spend online is a good thing because while you’re ogling down your Google reader for hours on end top performers are out there getting all of the real work done.  A good rule of thumb is that top performers spend about 15 percent of their time online and 85 percent of their time doing behind-the-scenes stuff.  I read this on Ryan Rancatore’s blog.

This makes a lot of sense to me because if I ever have a day where I just want to idly surf the web from the comfort of my own bed it doesn’t take long for me to get an email from my teammates in DC. It’s easy to identify who is doing real work versus who is just screwing around all day.

The coolest thing about being a community manager is that I get to socialize all day. It’s a big part of my job to create genuine conversation. And it reminds me a lot of starting good conversations at the bar.

Social media is a lot like being out in the bar scene. And being an effective social media user is a lot like being an effective bar crawler. It takes enthusiasm and it takes endurance—and all of us have a off-putting experience that we wish we could forget.

Don’t call me alcoholic. I’m not. I’m just being allegorical. And what better to turn into a metaphor than two of my favorite things?

Here’s why effectively navigating the bar scene and effectively navigating social media have so much in common (add your own metaphors via comment).

Know what you want before you try to order a drink.

People who don’t know what they want when they get to the bartender don’t get served. Or get served slowly. Social media users who don’t know what they want before they commit to using social media don’t do any better.

When a new blogger asks me for advice, I ask: “What is your goal for blogging?” A lot of people don’t have a great answer. And a month or two later, 75 percent of the people I talk to have moved on to something else.

Don’t confuse the need for a goal with the need for an end goal. You’re goal will change routinely over the course of your social media use. But just like going out for some drinks, it’s good to set a few expectations before the night begins.

Know your limits.

The good thing about social media is that nobody’s egging you on with shots that you didn’t ask for. The ball’s in your court. Stick to what you’re good at.

You should stick to what you’re good at—at first. There’s an overwhelming conception that if you’re not using every hot, new social media tool you’re falling behind. Erroneous! Starting right now is still considered ahead of the curve.

Take your time. Know what’s going to be difficult to stomach. If you’re not good at drinking Tequila, don’t drink Tequila.

Understand what makes a good cocktail.

My roommate showed me his LinkedIn profile the other day. Under experience he listed “pimp with the most.” So I said to him, “Dude. This isn’t Facebook.”

If you’re going to blend social media with a particular piece of your life, make sure that it’s going to enhance your life, not hinder it. You might as well be drinking a Long-Island Ice Tea in that case. They taste terrible, and they only make you look and feel ridiculous.

A little flair goes a long way.

Ask my favorite blogging bartender, Chris Myers, and he’ll tell you the same. If you want to be remembered, be memorable.

But you don’t need to learn to balance bottles of Ketel One on your chin or tell really amazing dirty jokes— like Chris—to be memorable. Figure out what makes you a fun person to kick it with offline, and translate it into something you can do online.

Know when it’s time to go home.

Oke Atatah isn’t going to use the Internet for the next two weeks. That’s a little extreme for me, but kudos on his part. I put a lot of value in the time that I spend away from social media. Everybody should.

People who spend too much time at the bar are typically called alcoholics. I don’t know what people who spend too much time on social media are called.

Losers? Perhaps, but the point is simple. Social media is a tool for complimenting your life, not supplementing your life.

And don’t forget to have some fun.

We’re all learning that social media is a valuable tool for our careers and our personal lives. Regardless of what you’re using it for, have fun doing it.

If I wasn’t getting a thrill out of blogging, I wouldn’t blog. If Twitter wasn’t such a fun way to connect, I wouldn’t Tweet.

Always be conscious of how much fun that you’re having when you’re using social media. If you’re not having fun, you’re probably not doing it right.

Speaking of bars … Who’s going to a Twestival tonight? And if you’re not going, why?! Click here to check out a list of Twestivals going on in 175+ cites around the world.

If you’re at the Chicago Twestival, keep an eye out for me. I’m looking forward to meeting some cool people from the Brazen World.

I’m impressed by how many ways people can use 140 characters of text. Nothing in social media is as captivating to me as the Twitter phenomenon.

My most recent Twitter obsession? The Tweet Up.

Two weeks ago Brazen Dan put together a killer Tweet Up for Team Brazen and other local Twitterers in the Madison area. The turnout was amazing.

With Twitter’s high-speed approach to consuming information, it’s only a matter of time before Tweet Ups start sprouting up in every major city around the country.

Mainstream? Maybe … it’s hard to ignore the potential.

I’ve read a mountain of posts about how Tweet Ups are a valuable way to network. I don’t need to retell that story. But I do think it’s important to start thinking about how you can make a Tweet Up in your city a success.

The fundamentals.

Propose a Tweet Up in your city. If you don’t have followers in your city, find some first. Make your Tweet sound something like this …

“Who’s down for a #MadtownTweetUp this Friday? Brocach on the Square. RT Please!”

Make your Tweet Up name (Ex: #MadtownTweetUp) memorable so people include it when they re-tweet (aka “RT”). You’ll be able to keep track of how successful the Tweet Up is going to be by doing a Twitter search for your Tweet-Up name.

Take a rough headcount so you know roughly how many people are going to show.

Find a good venue.

Atmosphere is crucial when you’re hanging out with people you’ve never met or rarely hang out with. Make your meet-up spot a neutral environment—something that everyone can enjoy.

The first Tweet Up I attended in Madison was at a piano bar. Low key. Dark. No good.

The last Tweet Up we had was at an Irish pub. Lots of energy. Irish music. Killer!

You don’t want to go to a place that kills the mood to socialize. You don’t want to psyche people out either. Wherever you pick, keep in mind that not all social media heads are known for their offline social skills.

Make things comfortable. Beer helps too.

Call ahead.

How much does it suck when you get to a bar and there’s nowhere to sit? Multiply that woe by the number of people in your Tweet Up and you get a pretty great reason to call ahead.

Name tags, pens, paper.

Name tags are lame. I get it. But at Tweet Ups they’re essential. Fun too.

The best part is putting a face to the name. I finally got to meet @antrover ,creator of the bacon bot (a bot that Tweets you when you talk about bacon). Kind of looked like Jim from The Office (I digress). But I never would’ve known it was him unless he wore a nametag that said “@baconbaconbacon”.

Want to go Twitter crazy? Order a T-shirt with your Twitter ID on it.

Be memorable.

At our last Tweet Up, someone brought stickers and keychains from their company. I thought that was pretty cool. And it was a good reminder of who she was when I followed her the next day.

Even better than company schwag …

Just be candid.

The best way to be memorable is to be as outgoing and as candid as possible.

We have this guy in our Tweet Up group who works for the cable company. I started ranting to him—I mean really ranting—about my bootleg DVR. He told me to Tweet him next time something goes wrong. I know he’ll remember me when I finally take him up on the offer.

Alert the presses!

Andy Drish came into town last week and I was surprised when he told me that his Iowa Tweet Ups were getting media attention. I shouldn’t have underestimated how intriguing Twitter culture can be.

Alert your local papers, new outlets, etc. before any local Tweet Up. Many sources are already in the Tweet-O-Sphere. See if you can find yours.

Sponsorships?

Sure. Why not? In fact, companies and organizations should be leaping at an opportunity to sponsor such a hyper-connected group of people.

Sponsorships pop up in places you’d never expect. Just remember one of the most important rules of social media: Don’t be afraid to ask.

Beyond the Twitter …

Some cool sites are popping up to facilitate Tweet Ups even further. I’m pretty stoked to see what they develop over at Tweetup.com. In the meantime, check out what these sites are doing to strengthen their local Twitter scene.

• Tweetup.org
• AustinTweetup.com
• ChicagoTweetups.com

Who’s going to be the IT hero in Madison who puts together MadtownTweetup.com (it’s available)?

It’s always good to be gracious.

Send some thank-you Tweets after the event. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way.

They’ll remember it. Then they’ll tell two friends, and they’ll tell two friends and … you get the idea.

Before you know it, you’ve got a local social media community that any good social media boy or girl can take advantage of.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

When I first became the community manager at Brazen Careerist, I was less than enthused. Nobody could tell me exactly what the title meant, exactly what the job was, and so I had no idea where to start.

Five months later, the work has become the reason I get up in the morning. And the reason I keep working late at night. I also feel confident explaining what I can do for a startup in one word—bridge.

When companies, especially startups, get caught up in the hustle of post-funding mayhem, a sturdy bridge is what will keep you aligned with your loyal, pre-funding customers. And those loyal customers are important when you’re community building. It’s a messy and erratic job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

And while some companies think that community managers are pointless, there’s enough buzz about the position to make a few tips for success worth reading about.

1. Be a social media ninja.

Last week at SummerMash Austin, Dan Healy, our new sales guy, got a first-hand look at why being up on social media is so important. People don’t just wear nametags with their name on them anymore. They sport their Twitter I.D. as well.

While Twitter may be the hottest new thing among social media elite, young and old, the rest are just as important to know and understand if you want to be a great online community manager. Equip yourself on a variety of fronts and you’ll optimize how connected you and your community can be.

So LinkedIn, Facebook and MySpace are just as important … okay, not MySpace.

2. Never turn down a cup of coffee.

Spending an hour of your day at a coffee shop with one person may be a waste of time for some people, but community managers need to learn to embrace it. I’ve gained some of my most valuable connections this way.

As a community manager, it’s your job to learn to embrace the individual because there’s not just one kind of customer in most online communities. Spend time with 1-2 people individually every week and you’ll see what I mean.

3. Don’t wait for people to come to you.

Some of your most valuable community members can easily go unnoticed if you let them keep quiet. Statistically speaking, about 25% of your community is going to be naturally introverted and slower to join the conversation, even virtually. It takes a little push to get some people engaged, but then they can’t stop engaging.

It’s your job to identify these members and find a way to get them more involved. Offer them help, or just encourage them from the sidelines. Don’t be pushy, but don’t be afraid to push either. There’s a difference, and it’s likely different for different people, too.

4. Know your community’s goals.

While you’re busy “embracing the individual,” start embracing their goals too. Find out what they’re looking to get out of branding themselves online, and use that information to help them achieve it.

Goals can range from starting a successful business to just expressing themselves as individuals. However lofty their goals may be, there’s always something you can do to help them out.

5. Have an eye for potential.

It’s quite likely that there will be members of your community without a clear goal or direction in mind, but with obvious potential for something bigger. And it’s your job to figure out what that something is.

Recognizing potential is almost natural if you’re accustomed to seeing the best in people right away. And if you have lots of A-team players in your life, you can probably identify high potential even in the youngest members of your community. Regardless it takes a little work, but the rewards can be unexpectedly huge.

6. Find a way to personally connect.

Maybe you both have a dog, or maybe you share similar alma maters, or maybe you just both enjoy watching some hit T.V. show.

Whatever the case, it’s your job to find these commonalities. They’re a golden opportunity to connect on a personal level. And it shows people that you don’t see them as just another member of the community.

7. Display your genuine personality.

The problem with working in a business environment is that we all tend to act a little synthetic from time to time. But the one thing your community doesn’t need is more corporate jargon. Show them your authentic, softer side instead.

Whether it’s for a personal or professional purpose, communities are supposed to be fun, first. And community leaders are responsible for setting the tone so that goal is met for everyone.

8. Speak up for the community.

You’re the spokesperson for your community. You’re responsible for speaking up to the business side of your company on their behalf, even if you end up feeling like the lone wolf, or just the boy crying wolf.

Don’t be afraid to bang heads and stir things up. At the end of the day, it’s what you’re being paid to do. And being the lone wolf is kind of cool anyway.

9. Take it offline.

Tonight we’re hosting our first, fully-sponsored Brazen Careerist event in Washington D.C. and we’re all extremely excited. Having the opportunity to meet a room full of people that you’ve been working with online for months gives me goose bumps.

Community managers should make an offline community presence one of their top priorities. And don’t be afraid to think big either. Think Mashable big. The less you limit yourself, the more you’ll realize is possible as your community matures.

10. Preserve the belief that you are helping people every day.

I should have made this #1, because if you can’t believe that what you’re doing makes a difference in people’s lives, you shouldn’t be doing it.

Traditionally, how we’re valued in the workplace stems from quantifiable results. But a community manager’s results aren’t always quantifiable, and that’s frustrating.

Keep your self-esteem high by reminding yourself that there would be a lot more problems if you weren’t around. You help people with problems that can’t be anticipated always, or even predicted, and it makes a difference.

My best days are when I receive genuine thanks from a person in my community regarding something I did that they thought I didn’t have to. And even though I knew I did have to, it means a lot knowing that it made a difference.