This is only a snippet of a full post about stepping down from my position at my company. You can read the whole thing over at Brazen Careerist. It’s been a hell of a ride you guys!

At the end of this month, I’m stepping down as Community Manager for Brazen Careerist. As a founder and a stockholder I’ll always be involved in the company, but career-wise I’m moving on.

I spent most my life establishing relationships with people who made me feel safe. In high school I spiked up my hair and wore nothing but tee-shirts from punk-rock bands you have never heard of. At the time I thought I was making a statement, but really I was just making it easier to know who my friends were.

In college, I joined a fraternity with Ryan Healy, my freshmen-year roommate at the time. I hung out with the same people for all four years—again, it was all about feeling safe. Some of them remain my closest friends. Others I will never talk to again because we were never really friends to begin with.

When we moved to Madison and teamed up with Penelope, everything changed. More >>

I’m impressed by how many ways people can use 140 characters of text. Nothing in social media is as captivating to me as the Twitter phenomenon.

My most recent Twitter obsession? The Tweet Up.

Two weeks ago Brazen Dan put together a killer Tweet Up for Team Brazen and other local Twitterers in the Madison area. The turnout was amazing.

With Twitter’s high-speed approach to consuming information, it’s only a matter of time before Tweet Ups start sprouting up in every major city around the country.

Mainstream? Maybe … it’s hard to ignore the potential.

I’ve read a mountain of posts about how Tweet Ups are a valuable way to network. I don’t need to retell that story. But I do think it’s important to start thinking about how you can make a Tweet Up in your city a success.

The fundamentals.

Propose a Tweet Up in your city. If you don’t have followers in your city, find some first. Make your Tweet sound something like this …

“Who’s down for a #MadtownTweetUp this Friday? Brocach on the Square. RT Please!”

Make your Tweet Up name (Ex: #MadtownTweetUp) memorable so people include it when they re-tweet (aka “RT”). You’ll be able to keep track of how successful the Tweet Up is going to be by doing a Twitter search for your Tweet-Up name.

Take a rough headcount so you know roughly how many people are going to show.

Find a good venue.

Atmosphere is crucial when you’re hanging out with people you’ve never met or rarely hang out with. Make your meet-up spot a neutral environment—something that everyone can enjoy.

The first Tweet Up I attended in Madison was at a piano bar. Low key. Dark. No good.

The last Tweet Up we had was at an Irish pub. Lots of energy. Irish music. Killer!

You don’t want to go to a place that kills the mood to socialize. You don’t want to psyche people out either. Wherever you pick, keep in mind that not all social media heads are known for their offline social skills.

Make things comfortable. Beer helps too.

Call ahead.

How much does it suck when you get to a bar and there’s nowhere to sit? Multiply that woe by the number of people in your Tweet Up and you get a pretty great reason to call ahead.

Name tags, pens, paper.

Name tags are lame. I get it. But at Tweet Ups they’re essential. Fun too.

The best part is putting a face to the name. I finally got to meet @antrover ,creator of the bacon bot (a bot that Tweets you when you talk about bacon). Kind of looked like Jim from The Office (I digress). But I never would’ve known it was him unless he wore a nametag that said “@baconbaconbacon”.

Want to go Twitter crazy? Order a T-shirt with your Twitter ID on it.

Be memorable.

At our last Tweet Up, someone brought stickers and keychains from their company. I thought that was pretty cool. And it was a good reminder of who she was when I followed her the next day.

Even better than company schwag …

Just be candid.

The best way to be memorable is to be as outgoing and as candid as possible.

We have this guy in our Tweet Up group who works for the cable company. I started ranting to him—I mean really ranting—about my bootleg DVR. He told me to Tweet him next time something goes wrong. I know he’ll remember me when I finally take him up on the offer.

Alert the presses!

Andy Drish came into town last week and I was surprised when he told me that his Iowa Tweet Ups were getting media attention. I shouldn’t have underestimated how intriguing Twitter culture can be.

Alert your local papers, new outlets, etc. before any local Tweet Up. Many sources are already in the Tweet-O-Sphere. See if you can find yours.

Sponsorships?

Sure. Why not? In fact, companies and organizations should be leaping at an opportunity to sponsor such a hyper-connected group of people.

Sponsorships pop up in places you’d never expect. Just remember one of the most important rules of social media: Don’t be afraid to ask.

Beyond the Twitter …

Some cool sites are popping up to facilitate Tweet Ups even further. I’m pretty stoked to see what they develop over at Tweetup.com. In the meantime, check out what these sites are doing to strengthen their local Twitter scene.

• Tweetup.org
• AustinTweetup.com
• ChicagoTweetups.com

Who’s going to be the IT hero in Madison who puts together MadtownTweetup.com (it’s available)?

It’s always good to be gracious.

Send some thank-you Tweets after the event. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way.

They’ll remember it. Then they’ll tell two friends, and they’ll tell two friends and … you get the idea.

Before you know it, you’ve got a local social media community that any good social media boy or girl can take advantage of.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

Last week, Penn State (my alma mater) overcame its most difficult football challenge of the season—defeating the Ohio State Buckeyes. The aftermath was boisterous. A celebration for Penn State fans everywhere. But back in State College, PA, boisterous turned into raucous way too quick.

Students flooded the streets. Beaver Canyon, the core of off-campus life, became a sea of blue and white. And when I first watched the footage I thought, “Awesome!” But I changed my mind.

You see, I love Penn State. It’s still a huge part of my life. And when something remarkable happens to that community, I can be as rowdy as they come. But when a community as great as Happy Valley turns on itself—and ends up hurting itself— it’s just way too ugly to ignore.
Communities are a wonderful thing—college communities, neighborhood communities, online communities—and most accomplish great things. But sometimes, communities can turn dangerous. And last week at Penn State was a perfect example.

It’s easy to be an asshole in chaotic situations.

I first found out about the Penn State riot online. My younger frat bros who are still in school had pictures up on Facebook. A few sorority girls I knew had links to the footage on Instant Messenger saying how “fucking awesome” it was. To be fair, that was my first reaction too.

But things got ugly. And they didn’t get ugly because of a community of criminals. They got ugly because of a handful of criminals scattered amidst thousands in a massive celebration.

A couple of meatheads, drunk off their own stupidity, thought it would be cool to rip down some street lights. Or break some bottles. Or smash some cop-car windows. And everybody suffered.

This kind of thing happens in communities all the time. Big or small, minority behavior tends to put us all in a whacked out situation. It even happens with communities online.

It’s like that blog post that organically creates passionate response. Usually the response is civil … but then someone realizes they can say anything they want, with no consequence. And a passionate, engaging dialogue turns sour.

And guess who usually gets burned in this equation? It’s not the person who was just there to throw some stones. It’s the people who showed up to genuinely enjoy the celebration. They’re the ones who end up with mace in their eyes.

And then the blame game begins …

I don’t know what happened first at PSU, the rioting or the mace. I’m pretty sure nobody will ever truly know. But regardless, we’ll still try to place blame months from now no matter what.

Students will blame the cops, because let’s face it: cops are the Anti-Christ to a college kid. And the cops will blame the students, because they’re just the spoiled-rotten kids their job forces them to deal with seven days a week. And when I read the post-riot articles online, I can really sympathize with both sides.

Fortunately, the online communities I’ve experienced are far tamer. But the blame game remains the same. Because how individuals act within any community affects how the entire community is perceived.

If some wild card decided to get slanderous tomorrow on Brazen, there wouldn’t be any long-term damage. But someone is going to be offended, or hurt. And when you’re trying to build a community that respects one another despite their differences in opinion, you do your best to make sure nobody walks away bruised.

And there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just like overcoming great odds as an individual, communities that overcome great odds become stronger and more composed once the next obstacle erupts. The Penn State community will, and so will any other community that looks at what they did wrong the first time and makes changes in response.

I think the first step is to recognize how powerful we are when united. With that unity we can do great things, but can also wreak havoc. And sometimes pride and passion are great catalysts for people with violent intentions.

But I don’t think that means that we should dilute ourselves either. We just have to be more aware of the actions of the people around us. And if they’re malicious, it’s our responsibility to do something about it. And it’s harder to do than you think.

But I think that’s a leadership skill many of us don’t use that often, maybe we don’t even have it. But it’s certainly one that every community needs.

Most of you don’t know the Ryan Paugh that people knew in college. Most of you know Ryan Paugh “the BC community manager.” But back in college I was Ryan Paugh “the frat guy.”

And at first, saying that leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Frat guys get a bad rap, because a lot of us flat-out suck. But many of us are actually pretty good guys … promise.

But here’s the deal. I learned a lot from my years as a greek. Sure, I partied hard, got up late and skipped a bunch of classes. But I spent a lot of that time building community right outside my door, in my frat.

Here are few things I took away from the fuzzy, fun-filled days and nights I spent with my fraternity in college.

You can get a lot by doing a little.

The worst part about joining a fraternity is the pledge process. But after it’s all over, the rewards you’ll reap over the next four years (and beyond) are immeasurable.

I try to think about blogging the same way. During the first few months of your blog, you’re pretty much at the bottom of the food chain. Hardly anyone wants to talk to you and you’re putting a lot of time into something when time is pretty scarce.

Some days you want to quit—and lots of people do—but for those who stay, you get to enjoy a community experience that other people miss out on.

Just like pledging, once you’re initiated, the blogosphere becomes your playground. It’s effortless to make connections. And if that’s all you’re looking for, you’re in great shape.

But going above and beyond is better.

A lot of people pledge frats, “pay their dues” and coast their way through college with all the perks of fraternity life. But others take a leadership role. They strive to make a difference within their community. These people gain the most out of fraternity life.

Being a part of the blogosphere is very similar. The more you put in, the more you get out.

The Brazen Careerist community has leaders in every niche. They’re not just blogging; they’re making their niche better or even the entire sphere better.

A telltale sign of a community leader is someone who takes it beyond the blog. They connect via email, on the phone or in person. They’re finding ways for bloggers to work together and they’re actually creating a movement for change in some cases.

I like to think about it in terms of the people in the frat who would stay in their rooms during a party versus the ones who left that sanctity to be more social. Sure, you can lure people back to your room to party, but you’re a lot more likely to experience something fun if you throw yourself amongst the masses and let loose.

Mixing it up is a good thing.

My favorite thing about frat life was our diversity. We weren’t the homogeneous crew of greeks you see in movies. We had lots of differences. And it’s what made our house so distinctive.

And what would any good community be without a little diversity? What I love most about being Brazen is all the perspectives and passions we share. We are all quite different, but at the same time, united by the common desire to build relationships with fascinating people.

And sure, you may think frat guys are far from fascinating. But the good frats aim to be. Mine was. We had the meatheads, but we also had philosophers and some-day corporate execs. We were far from dull, and that’s what most communities should strive to be.

There are tons of different people with different agendas in the blogosphere. Some are writing, some are commenting and some are just reading with little-to-no visibility at all. But they’re all fulfilling a role that’s important to any community’s existence.

Inter-fraternal relations are vital.

It only takes a moment for a good party to go bad. One second you’re drinking a beer, the next, you’re getting jostled around in the midst of a frat-on-frat brawl. Lame.

Community leaders try so hard to build relationships with similar organizations. Then, out of nowhere, beer muscles get the best of someone and all goes sour.

It’s understandable. Everyone wants to be at the best. And in a way, you are, of course, competitors. But like anyone who understands community knows, it’s better to have an alliance with the competition than a vendetta against one another.

When building online community, establish good relations with your competition and try not to talk trash too much. The party is a lot more fun when you don’t have to worry about bad blood over spilt beer

Because in the end, it’s all about throwing a great party.

That’s the biggest similarity between my frat-guy years and my new adventure building an online community. Every day Brazen is working to bring the most thought-provoking mix of readers and writers together.

Our goal: To be the most stellar group of thought-provoking young professionals online. The community everyone wants to party with—the big name on campus.

And maybe that sounds too greek for you … and if that’s the case, don’t get turned off. I’m far beyond those years (for the most part). I’m just happy to (right now) have my dream job. A job that bonds my party-boy years with the (quasi)-professional I’ve become today. And I’m loving it.

When I first became the community manager at Brazen Careerist, I was less than enthused. Nobody could tell me exactly what the title meant, exactly what the job was, and so I had no idea where to start.

Five months later, the work has become the reason I get up in the morning. And the reason I keep working late at night. I also feel confident explaining what I can do for a startup in one word—bridge.

When companies, especially startups, get caught up in the hustle of post-funding mayhem, a sturdy bridge is what will keep you aligned with your loyal, pre-funding customers. And those loyal customers are important when you’re community building. It’s a messy and erratic job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

And while some companies think that community managers are pointless, there’s enough buzz about the position to make a few tips for success worth reading about.

1. Be a social media ninja.

Last week at SummerMash Austin, Dan Healy, our new sales guy, got a first-hand look at why being up on social media is so important. People don’t just wear nametags with their name on them anymore. They sport their Twitter I.D. as well.

While Twitter may be the hottest new thing among social media elite, young and old, the rest are just as important to know and understand if you want to be a great online community manager. Equip yourself on a variety of fronts and you’ll optimize how connected you and your community can be.

So LinkedIn, Facebook and MySpace are just as important … okay, not MySpace.

2. Never turn down a cup of coffee.

Spending an hour of your day at a coffee shop with one person may be a waste of time for some people, but community managers need to learn to embrace it. I’ve gained some of my most valuable connections this way.

As a community manager, it’s your job to learn to embrace the individual because there’s not just one kind of customer in most online communities. Spend time with 1-2 people individually every week and you’ll see what I mean.

3. Don’t wait for people to come to you.

Some of your most valuable community members can easily go unnoticed if you let them keep quiet. Statistically speaking, about 25% of your community is going to be naturally introverted and slower to join the conversation, even virtually. It takes a little push to get some people engaged, but then they can’t stop engaging.

It’s your job to identify these members and find a way to get them more involved. Offer them help, or just encourage them from the sidelines. Don’t be pushy, but don’t be afraid to push either. There’s a difference, and it’s likely different for different people, too.

4. Know your community’s goals.

While you’re busy “embracing the individual,” start embracing their goals too. Find out what they’re looking to get out of branding themselves online, and use that information to help them achieve it.

Goals can range from starting a successful business to just expressing themselves as individuals. However lofty their goals may be, there’s always something you can do to help them out.

5. Have an eye for potential.

It’s quite likely that there will be members of your community without a clear goal or direction in mind, but with obvious potential for something bigger. And it’s your job to figure out what that something is.

Recognizing potential is almost natural if you’re accustomed to seeing the best in people right away. And if you have lots of A-team players in your life, you can probably identify high potential even in the youngest members of your community. Regardless it takes a little work, but the rewards can be unexpectedly huge.

6. Find a way to personally connect.

Maybe you both have a dog, or maybe you share similar alma maters, or maybe you just both enjoy watching some hit T.V. show.

Whatever the case, it’s your job to find these commonalities. They’re a golden opportunity to connect on a personal level. And it shows people that you don’t see them as just another member of the community.

7. Display your genuine personality.

The problem with working in a business environment is that we all tend to act a little synthetic from time to time. But the one thing your community doesn’t need is more corporate jargon. Show them your authentic, softer side instead.

Whether it’s for a personal or professional purpose, communities are supposed to be fun, first. And community leaders are responsible for setting the tone so that goal is met for everyone.

8. Speak up for the community.

You’re the spokesperson for your community. You’re responsible for speaking up to the business side of your company on their behalf, even if you end up feeling like the lone wolf, or just the boy crying wolf.

Don’t be afraid to bang heads and stir things up. At the end of the day, it’s what you’re being paid to do. And being the lone wolf is kind of cool anyway.

9. Take it offline.

Tonight we’re hosting our first, fully-sponsored Brazen Careerist event in Washington D.C. and we’re all extremely excited. Having the opportunity to meet a room full of people that you’ve been working with online for months gives me goose bumps.

Community managers should make an offline community presence one of their top priorities. And don’t be afraid to think big either. Think Mashable big. The less you limit yourself, the more you’ll realize is possible as your community matures.

10. Preserve the belief that you are helping people every day.

I should have made this #1, because if you can’t believe that what you’re doing makes a difference in people’s lives, you shouldn’t be doing it.

Traditionally, how we’re valued in the workplace stems from quantifiable results. But a community manager’s results aren’t always quantifiable, and that’s frustrating.

Keep your self-esteem high by reminding yourself that there would be a lot more problems if you weren’t around. You help people with problems that can’t be anticipated always, or even predicted, and it makes a difference.

My best days are when I receive genuine thanks from a person in my community regarding something I did that they thought I didn’t have to. And even though I knew I did have to, it means a lot knowing that it made a difference.